aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
