Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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