Whod you bang
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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