We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize