The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
