i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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