You work out of a Hotel?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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