i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
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Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
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Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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