I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
