He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
