Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
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So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
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I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.