there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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