matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
