Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
