Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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