they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
