So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
