I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
