When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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