And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?