I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
It's shark week go big or go home
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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