Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out

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  (513): Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out http://tfl.nu/2ht3
  Replies (19) Good night (4398) Bad night (867)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl

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  (402): she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl http://tfl.nu/7i4h
  Replies (12) Good night (775) Bad night (3267)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"

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  (314): he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting" http://tfl.nu/dmjy
  Replies (25) Good night (15690) Bad night (1548)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...

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  (602): Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship... http://tfl.nu/dw4u
  Replies (23) Good night (1226) Bad night (6748)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.

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  (336): Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex. http://tfl.nu/1j3r
  Replies (36) Good night (1105) Bad night (6063)
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  (347): View more from New York

  the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.

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  (347): the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone. http://tfl.nu/ektw
  Replies (5) Good night (989) Bad night (2682)
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  (415): View more from California

  Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point

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  (415): Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point http://tfl.nu/8yzz
  Replies (2) Good night (1329) Bad night (1228)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.

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  (304): I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me. http://tfl.nu/6i2r
  Replies (6) Good night (2630) Bad night (585)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.

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  (231): I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it. http://tfl.nu/oche
  Replies (8) Good night (1850) Bad night (944)
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  (760): View more from California

  I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.

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  (760): I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover. http://tfl.nu/aeiu
  Replies (3) Good night (1394) Bad night (683)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.

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  (+61): Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night. http://tfl.nu/mvw7
  Replies (7) Good night (2732) Bad night (538)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much

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  (603): And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much http://tfl.nu/ke95
  Replies (1) Good night (434) Bad night (964)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing

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  (407): so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing http://tfl.nu/s8vo
  Replies (2) Good night (316) Bad night (492)
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  (925): View more from California

  Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.

  (1-925): View more from California

  Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.

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  (925): Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles. (1-925): Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive. http://tfl.nu/bo4j
  Replies (1) Good night (536) Bad night (337)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down

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  (952): Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down http://tfl.nu/721s
  Replies (2) Good night (158) Bad night (219)

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