I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
okay pat passed out under dana's car
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Use "feeling words"
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night