I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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