is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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