Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
