Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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