I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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