the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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