I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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