I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
