just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
