I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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