remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
