anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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