i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
