M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
