I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
