it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
