This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
