So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
