I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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