That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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