I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
