yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
