Your dad touched me again.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
