So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
