see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
