i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
