Im at strip club and am horny
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
