Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
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I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
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He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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