I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
