my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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