Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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