I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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