sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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