that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
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Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
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You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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