All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I love having hate sex.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
