Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
