His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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