i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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