I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
