my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
