i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
