If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
