She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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