If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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