He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
NoShamevember. You game?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
