physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I think my moral compass just broke
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